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4-19-23: Diagnosis Limbo & Anticipation

Updated: Dec 15, 2023

Waiting for this appointment was excruciating. I tortured myself by scouring the internet every day, seizing every free moment. I delved into extensive research on the orthopedic practice, the doctor we were scheduled to see, and his team. I scrutinized not only the doctor we were meeting with but also his background—where he grew up, his education, residency, employment history, experience, and any available public records or social media pages. Nothing was off limits.


Even more intensely, I researched everything about our daughter’s leg length discrepancy and its potential implications. I absorbed a wealth of information, experiencing both enlightenment and fear. I sought to understand any possibility we might be facing. My sources ranged from science-based articles to Reddit posts; once again, nothing was off-limits. The internet became both my best friend and my worst enemy. I became obsessed, continually striving to comprehend conditions such as one limb growing slower than the other, scoliosis, and hip dysplasia in an attempt to find any plausible explanation.


Despite DD’s (Dear Daughter’s) pediatrician expressing doubts about hip dysplasia, every sign and symptom, according to my research, seemed to point in that direction. The more I delved into my studies, the more convinced I became that this would be the diagnosis on May 11. However, I remained in denial simultaneously. How could this be the case when it wasn’t identified earlier? DD’s pediatrician and several other doctors at the pediatric practice, where DD’s PCP works, performed the Ortolani Test on our daughter, yet none identified this as a possibility or concern.


I am far from a medical expert—just a concerned parent. While they say there is a mother’s intuition, I’ve only been researching these matters for a few weeks. Additionally, when I saw images of the casts that babies with hip dysplasia had to wear at my daughter’s age, I was horrified. There was no way I could fathom my child ever being in one of those gigantic, full-body, horrendously positioned Spica casts. Not our baby. Yet, I couldn’t shake the persistent thought that hip dysplasia was the only plausible explanation. My mind oscillated between these conflicting thoughts every day leading up to the appointment.


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